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bleh

bleh on November 23, 2009 at 07:40 AM |

and so i was stalking people on facebook when i decided to check out on my friend's pictures

he was happy.

i was glad. really glad.

and then i thought of something

"imagine if i was in her shoes."

then again i told myself, I WAS HAPPY AND CONTENT.
After all it was me whose at fault, for the most part anyhows.

Then I looked at another person's facebook.
and he's back with his old girlfriend. Then again flashbacked the days he used to crash at my house around 1 am to vent over everything. Now, he would just talk how he's succeeding in life (both academically and emotionally)

Funny, theyre all moving on life. i just thought it was a big relief, for all of us. i hope. Then I again question myself, when he's slowly moving, and the other he is improving, where in the world am i heading to?
I miss them though, but as the cliche goes..

we just have to move on life.

Manasseh

Manasseh on November 23, 2009 at 03:44 AM |

He thought he could never hate someone. He thought everything was going well. He thought life was good. He thought life was fine. He thought he had something that others could only dream of. He thought much, but he did not perceive. He did not look outside the box. He did not analyse the situation; he did not judge what was beneficial for the both of them. He got selfish. He got greedy. He got stupid.

The breakup was not mutual. He knew at the end, it had to be done. He had to be heartless because she lived under the illusion that they were happy. They were firmly attached, but the bond was unnatural. It was forced, it required a lot of energy to force a bond to be formed between two opposite polar charges. That had been their doing, and so had been the condition of their relationship since it began. They were two sadistic people, a bastard and a bitch, both of whom sought solace in the unsteady platforms they planted their feet on. They had their occasional joy surfing along volatile tides, probably more. But the phase was over, they were their own man and woman. They should be free to roam, free to wander. Their commitment turned out to be a impediment to their happiness. It shackled them together, creating a black hole that kept sucking them back to where they began each time they attempted to wander off its radius. It was a hungry suction; it refused their escape. The fact was, they allowed the immense vacuum to grow larger, or perhaps constant, in its resorption capability. 

He cursed his atheistic deity. She rejoiced with hers. Neither understood the gravity of curse they were bringing unto themselves. Their temporal emotions were blurring their sight. They saw, yet they did not recognize. They sensed, yet they did not feel. It had been a relationship of convenience, albeit one that had already expired. They had no more to learn from each other. In their stubborn pursuit to gain happiness, they discovered more stubble and rocks. They tripped when they were walking, drowned when they submerged in water, overwhelmed with giddiness when they were standing; they had it difficult no matter the circumstance they were under. They knew it was a testing time for them, but nothing was done. They continued to fight a losing battle, even though it wasn't their battle to begin with. 

They had extrapolated an ill drawn graph. They had misread the results of a project. They had miscalculated the length of their passion. Perhaps that had been their fault; that to be so mechanical and calculative had culminated in a horrendous battlefield to what should had been a wonderland. No relationship is perfect, so they reasoned. It continued to sway on a shaky ground. The foundation that defined the bond began to lose its solidity. A subtle wind could cause a crumble, never mind a whirlwind. The remains to their structure had been a facade, no longer a wonderful edifice it once was. 

Love became an obligatory chore. They demanded commitment when it should be derived spontaneously from love. They demand loyalty when it should be elucidated from the complications, rather simplicity, of love. They demanded much from each other, when it was not the nature of love to be greedy and selfish. Self-seeking rights had been mistaken for love, so they suffered an ordeal that ceaselessly impounded these two stupid creatures. 

Once two love birds, now two vultures looking for a moment of weakness shown by the counterpart, so the scavenger would savagely peck at the wound, disallowing time to heal. Occasionally, one would act the predator, digging the claws of narcissism deep into the flesh of its putative beloved. They carousel swirled around their idiocy as they took turns to play the part of predator and victim. 

on November 23, 2009 at 12:11 AM |

Soon it will be Christmas time. I wish the weather will always be this cooling, or if it can get a bit colder it'd be better. XX

Abala sa ibang bagay

Abala sa ibang bagay on November 22, 2009 at 11:48 PM |

Natutuwa ako para kay Mark Angeles na nagbebenta na ng kaniyang Patikim. Matagal na sanang nailabas ang libro niyang ito kung hindi lang nagkaproblema sa gustong mag-publish. After too much time contemplating, siya na mismo ang nag-publish ng kaniyang akda. Ngayon nga ay nagbebenta na siya, me kaakibat pang good cause.

Sa ngayon ay nawiwindang ako sa pag-aayos/pagbubuo ng manuskritong ipapakatay ipapabasa sa ilang miyembro ng Pinoypoets (pramis, nothing new grand sa manuskritong ito). Dagdag pa dito ang pustahan namin ni Xam na gumawa ng sampung bagong tula para sa taong ito. Ang matatalo ay manlilibre sa grupo. Gayong nakatutuwa na tapos ko ng bunuin ang sampung bagong tula na ito (yehey! yehey!), iilan lang ang maisasama kong mga tula sa binubuo kong koleksyon.

Hay hay sidhay. Napapalibutan na nga ako ng mga librong binabasa. Hindi ko na sila naibabalik sa kanilang maayos na pagkakasalansan. Parang Smokey Mountain ng mga libro ang kuwarto ko.

***

Noon sa lilim nito tayo madalas maglaro  Lagi kang gumuguhit ng mga taong may malalapad na pakpak  Hindi mga anghel  Mga taong uwak

***

Ano ang pangalan ng pighati?

***

Ikinalulungkot kong sabihin na wala na, sinukuan na kita. Hindi mo man lang ako napapanaginipan.

Madalas mo man akong banggitin, subalit hungkag ang iyong inilalaan na kahulugan.

Unti-unti akong naglalandas palabas ng iyong kamalayan, hindi mo man lang namalayan.

Sapagkat inaakala mong napupuspos ang iyong labi ng kahiwagaan, hindi mo na pinangalanan akong nananalig sa iyo tuwina. 

Winner ka, Kuya Efren!

Winner ka, Kuya Efren! on November 22, 2009 at 11:04 PM |

(CNN) -- Efren Peñaflorida, who started a "pushcart classroom" in the Philippines to bring education to poor children as an alternative to gang membership, has been named the 2009 CNN Hero of the Year. More here.

About the group he started

Dynamic Teen Company (DTC) is a group of concerned young people with a mission of making a small yet significant difference in other people’s lives, particularly the small children in slum areas who have no access to education, basic hygiene and sometimes, even love from their families. The group was founded in August 1997 by four teenagers from Cavite National High School. The initial group made up of around 20 members started as a friendship club which aimed to divert the attention of students from joining violent gangs and notorious fraternities that were thriving on the campus. Their major platform then was to cater youth awareness projects, talent and self development activities, and community services. Today, the group holds different activities to address these issues.

Accomplishments

The fruits of their labor are slowly being reaped as former drug users and petty thieves who were reformed through their projects are now also serving as volunteers. Former scavengers are now in school and are helping to raise funds. Some of the children who remain unschooled are now able to read and write. DTC was able to reach thousands of children through their Mind Your Rights (MY RIGHTS) campaign and through their health-literacy work.

In 2007, they launched the “WE ARE THE CHANGE” campaign to inspire people to be the catalyst for change – in what they want to see in their home, community and the world we live in. For they believe that real change happens when we begin to touch one soul and change one heart at a time.

*Lifted from their official website. Know more about this amazing group here.

Shallow and Profound

Shallow and Profound on November 22, 2009 at 10:29 PM |

(Taken from My Utmost for His Highest, 22 November)

math

math on November 22, 2009 at 03:55 PM |

One of my many weird quirks is spreadsheeting of my car's gas mileage. I track every gas fill-up: the date, the mileage, and the total spent. I started keeping this data with the intention of one day figuring out the long-term value of owning a Mazda 3 versus getting a hybrid (I almost bought a Prius three years ago).

Some numbers from owning the Mazda3 for three years:

• Total miles: 16,462
• Total gas consumption: 533 gallons
• Average MPG: 30.85
• Average price per gallon: $3.02
• Total spent on gas: $1,611.58
  

If I had gotten a Prius, assuming a 46 MPG, I would have spent $1,081 on gas. That's a difference of about $600 spread over three years. With a price differential of ~$8K at purchase time (even with the $3K tax credit), I managed to save significant amounts of money by getting the Mazda3.

And as a general three year review of the Mazda3? I love the thing. Getting it in Carolina blue was a mistake; if I could go back, I'd also get the hatchback. My one complaint about the car is that the angle of the back window causes it to catch a LOT of dust - it gets dirty incredibly easy.

But besides that - it's a fun car to drive (pretty responsive), perfect size for the city, well sized for passengers, low maintenance (no problems thus far), and has managed to be able to transfer almost all the furniture I've bought without a problem! (This streak was unfortunately broken today when I mistakenly assumed the Benchwright Coffee Table from Pottery Barn came in pieces - it comes in one big piece).

(And now I finally have a coffee table!)

why everyone loves a jacob?

why everyone loves a jacob? on November 22, 2009 at 04:55 AM |

What is a rough jacob compared to a dreamy edward.

I'm an edward fan myself, but something about jacob's character that makes me want to love him too.

I was pregnant when i read the twilight series, (heheh.. through ebook) and I really didn't like the part when Edward took off, and bella was left alone. But then again, Jacob was there to keep her company during the alive-yet-dead period of her life. I hated it, when bella was with Jacob, I kept hoping that by the next page Edward would turn up.

However, when I watched the movie, courtesy of the company (we were given a free pass to watch new moon! oh joy!), it made me appreciate Jacob's character.

I have to admit the gorgeous bod was one of the reasons (ahahha..he is so sexy!! i think everyone can agree!), but it was this part towards the end that made me love his character. It was when bella told him not to make her choose between him, and Edward. Because even if she (bella) loved him (Jacob), it has always been Edward. (ouch..).

But even If Jacob knows that; even if he knows even before bella said those words, he still pursued bella. He didn't give up on his feelings. Unlike Edward, he's not into sacrifcing-myself-for-the-sake-of-the-one-i-love.  He knows what he wants and he'll do everything to prove that he deserves bella, even though he doesn't stand a chance against Edward in Bella's heart.

And for that Hurrah to the stubborn wolf!

P.S. And yes, He is so gorgeous! everyone was screaming when he first took his shirt off! And everytime he appeared half-naked. wew!

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