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Who can define love for me?

Who can define love for me? on July 4, 2009 at 10:54 PM |

There's a lot to talk today. Somehow I have managed to survive this day with minimal crying. Maybe because I was too tired or maybe because my tear ducts have malfunctioned again. There are things I should be thankful although I feel a little bit disgusted of the things that are happening around. First, I am thankful that despite my being selfish, forgetful, insensitive there are people who still accepts me for who I am. Second, I am thankful that despite my lack of courage I have managed to win a battle. Third, I am going to be an Aunt soon. My eighteen-year old brother had finally confessed that he's going to be a father.

I can't blame the way things are happening. Although a gnawing distress has slowly crept in me, I can't blame anyone. I can't blame my brother for being so irresponsible. I can't blame the girl for being so submissive and careless. How will I ever tell this to my sick Father, who has not fought any battle? How will I tell him that he's going to be a Grandfather soon? How will I ever tell him that the girl's family doesn't like us because we are poor? How will I tell him that he might not be able to see his grandchild?

I feel responsible of all these things. And I would try any means to help. But what hurts is that, not even a word thank you is uttered. I love my family. But how come they did not see it? Are they trying to tell me my efforts are not enough? Do I deserve this kind of treatment when all I do is help? I can't understand why filial love has to be like this. I am not mad, I don't regret for anything. I just want a wide understanding of what is love.

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